Black face – Susan X Jane

Its Halloween time, and nothing says Halloween like an Awesome costume. Lately the stupid PC police have been raining on everyone’s parade, talking about how your Halloween costume shouldn’t be disrespectful to women or latinos or blacks or whatever, but its just for fun so they need to stop being babies about respect .

Blackface is a classic. So what if blackface was the narrative that contributed to the oppression of blacks from slavery straight through Jim Crow, the makeup is cheap and your fun is worth perpetuating racism in the 21st century. Besides, no matter what kind of character you go as, if it includes blackface, your sure to get tons of attention. But how do you know which blackface costume is right for you? Picking the right one is a matter of taste–are you looking for something more subtle, maybe a socially acceptable black or are you a real risk taker? Here we’ll show you some of the boldest blackface costumes with our very own special level system from beginner to advanced.

Basic level

There are too many Awesome black people to not dress up as one. So what if you are a white person. Saying whatever you want is your first amendment right–no, as a matter of fact, it’s your privilege –so whats wrong with a little Halloween privilege? If people are staring at your Mr. T costume, its only because Mr. T is so culturally relevant, they wish they dressed as him too. Since you love Mr. T, you automatically are not racist. Pretty sure blackface is okay as long as you like the guy, right? So what if your friends tell you its not cool? What would they know about how cool shoe polishing your face for A-team greatness is?

Emmy Level

Dressing up as Crazy Eyes is totally okay because Orange is the New Black won an Emmy. The character is soooo cool, I mean sad too, and so she’s not a stereotype, right, a black woman in prison, so what’s the problem with that? Dressing as Crazy eyes wasn’t tone deaf–it’s tots relevant, just like my friend’s Michonne costume.

I mean, the Walking Dead won an Emmy and even though zombies are wicked gross, Michonne is a strong black woman and totally feminist so she can’t be off limits. These Michonne costumes are everywhere. They’re too popular to be racist. So what if your sorority may be featured in the local news, they just don’t know how cute your pixs looked on Instagram.

Intercontinental Level

Blackface isn’t really like blackface when you dress up as an African, because they’re, like, African. You know your history, and of course blackface was used to denigrate American blacks during the 19th and 20th century, but those were Americans, see? So dressing like an African, thats not racist because they’re Africans. So nothing wrong here, you world history buff. So what if your social media pictures spark international outrage, shaming your family on multiple continents. the outfit was too good to pass up.

Jeezy Level

Get creative with your reasoning: Only racist do racist things, so if you’re not racist, then racist acts become not racisct, get it? George Bush doesn’t care about black people, but you do, so you can’t be racist. Besides You’re so cool with black people, they might think it’s real! Don’t get mistaken for Kanye in this season’s hottest blackface costume. No one will mistake you for racist, just a clever consumer of all things TMZ, right? Besides, as an educator, you want to set a good example for the kids. If you’re going to do blackface, make sure you really commit to doing the hands too. Kanye’s awesome, and with your wife dressed as Kim K., your couple Kimye costume is worth ending up on the evening news. Its worth writing that apology letter. Its worth the employment consequences that come with Jeezus Level blackface.

White Hood Level

When offending people with blackface is just not enough, trade in the last of your human dignity for this halloween costume. Mocking the death of unarmed teens is sure to make you the talk of the town. So what if your costume is overtly racist, you have the right to act like a walking sack of shit by trading on death and injustice for a few seconds of negative attention. And if you lose you job and your friends because you just couldn’t resist, at least you know that white hate groups are still recruiting.

Remember, dressing up in blackface is always offensive, so definitely be prepared for all the comments you’ll get! Be sure to take plenty of pictures, and post them widely on social media–the internet loves to make blackface pictures go viral, ensuring your moment of racism lives forever. Level up by tagging your boss, your mother and favorite local community organization so they can tell you how proud they are of your ignorant racism, or cut you a final check before they ask you to leave. Whatever your blackface level, get your makeup on and get out there.

World Cup play has been nothing less than thrilling, with enough drama to fill Bravo’s TV summer line up. There’s been overly dramatic falls and equally dramatic play, not to mention a little zombie bite between friends.

What is also on display, as it has been so often in sports this year, is gross racism. And I mean gross not just in the quality, but in the straight-no-chaser approach to ugly racial epitaphs, racist costumes, and hate language.

Some German fans decided their love for team Germany was best expressed by dressing up in black face. And to make sure they spread their fan feces beyond the stadium, fans uploaded pictures to Instagram, lighting up social media.

FIFA took note of the racist behavior and vowed an investigation into the behavior. Of course, race has played a gross recurring role in football. In just the past year alone we’ve seen fans fight it out and even players taunted on the field. Is it because football fans are racists, or at least more racist than most people?

Football, like out own American sports, is more than a game, and the ability to paint our faces and pledge our fealty to the world is an old tradition still much desired even in our modern world. Sport is an opportunity to rise beyond the day-to-day existence to strive for a moment of glory and greatness–the hero’s summit at the top of his field has millions chanting his name, etched forever into the record books.

Sport is also a chance to pledge our allegiance to our tribe, to show off our country’s colors, and to win in competion the right to say our people are the best people.

Hmm, all that competitive spirit, tradition, nationalism and a little beer–or a lot of beer and capirainnias. What could go wring?

well there’s this

this

and then of course there’s this

To be sure on the other side of the coin, sport also brings us together, yes in pitched battle, but one where the biggest victims are ego’s and pride.

But what do these gross displays tell us about race in this moment in time? When we look for cultural messages, we have to consider the context–where is the message coming from and what is the culture there? This question is simplified, as a colleague asked me, “Well isn’t it different because it’s Germany?’

She’s not alone. Tweets and not a few twits have used the same argument in dismissing the recurrent use of black face and other racialized imagery in sports and other public events.

The general idea is that since black face–as we know it today– originated in the American south, that it is only symbolically powerful when referring to African Americans, but outside of America, black face isn’t really offensive. That’s like saying since Hip Hop was created as an expression of African Americans, there can be no hip hop anywhere but in America, despite the fact that people around the world have been exposed to it. Black face has been exported as has American ideology–and now media–around the world. Let’s be clear: black face is offensive, even between Germans and Ghanians.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel posing Black faced magoi for traditional three Kings Day. Yeah, black face is a thing in Germany — German Chancellor Angela Merkel posing Black-faced magi for traditional three Kings Day. Yeah, black face is a thing in Germany

Black face in it’s American Minstrel mutation is one symbolic representation of brown-skinned people that was part of a much larger, more complex colonial narrative–a story that colonizers told to justify the oppression of colonized people. Cultural narratives like this are grand and sweeping, showing up in the culture of the time, in literature, art, even science. The story shows up in entertainment in one mutation as black face. But that was not the only negative depiction of “others” during colonialism, which operated on all continents.

To believe that the message contained in black face –the inhuman and uncivilized dark nature of the other–was contained in a few short centuries in America alone is to ignore the power and pervasive control of colonialism in all corners of the globe.

Just as black face in America today is an echo of the same old racist story born in American slavery, so does the racism on display at the world cup ring the bell of colonialism, and the lingering ideas of racial superiority, poison seeds planted by years of political, social and economic imperialism.

The games show us that racial conflict persists in our post racial world–even beyond America. Just as racism in America intensifies as the American population changes, so too with racism around the world. While America for sure has it’s own unique flavor of racism, changing demographics and increased mobility are bringing groups of people into new relationships. To really be a global village that won’t tear itself apart, we’ve got to be vigilant about dismissing the stories of the past so that we are careful they don’t become the stories of our future.

Tag: Black face

Your Awesome Blackface Costume: A Rating System

GOOOAAAL: Respect!!!!