You Can’t Handle the Twist

The Army wants you–as long as you don’t have a natural.  Even though the calendar reads 2014, and natural hair for black women is more popular than ever, here are the army’s updated hair rules.

This undated image provided by the US Army shows new Army grooming regulations for females. New Army regulations meant to help standardized and professionalize soldiers’ appearance is now coming under criticism by some black military women, who say changes in the requirement for their hair are racially biased. The Army earlier this week issued new appearance standards, which included bans on most twists, dreadlocks and large cornrows, all styles used predominantly by African-American women with natural hairstyles. More than 11,000 people have signed a White House petition asking President Barack Obama, the commander-in-chief, to have the military review the regulations to allow for “neat and maintained natural hairstyles.” (AP Photo/US Army)
This undated image provided by the US Army shows new Army grooming regulations for females. New Army regulations meant to help standardized and professionalize soldiers’ appearance is now coming under criticism by some black military women, who say changes in the requirement for their hair are racially biased. The Army earlier this week issued new appearance standards, which included bans on most twists, dreadlocks and large cornrows, all styles used predominantly by African-American women with natural hairstyles. More than 11,000 people have signed a White House petition asking President Barack Obama, the commander-in-chief, to have the military review the regulations to allow for “neat and maintained natural hairstyles.” (AP Photo/US Army)

 

Real Fake

McDonalds_Imitation14

Soooo a real company (McDonald’s) with a fake clown named Ronald Mc Donald made a real ad with the fake clown petting a real dog playing the role of a fake dog  who is the mascot for a real company (Taco Bell) that made a real ad with real people named Ronald Mc Donald like the fake clown.  With all the fake/real back and forth, it’s no wonder we can’t tell if the food is real or fake.

Why Ponies Shouldn’t Wear Hats

Pink Pony front woman and daughter of the governor of Oklahoma, Christina Fallin was really feeling a deep connection to the Native Americans she grew up around.  So deep that she posted this picture of her wearing an admittedly-stunning-though-sacred-so-you-probably-shouldn’t-pose-in-it-for-Facebook headdress on her band’s Facebook page.

headress

She titled the picture Appropriate Culturation, so she clearly presumably knows what cultural appropriation is and is trying to be clever.  She also apparently decided to redefine it and made herself  the appropriator of the appropriateness of cultural appropriation.  Yay! She now decides when people from one culture can rock the ritual and sacred items from another culture as “fun accessories” or funky fashion for flaunting their deep spiritual connections.

Too bad no one told the many peoples who belong to the cultures for which she is the appropriate appropriator of cultural appropriateness.  Thus, her Appropriateness had to issue this royal proclamation from her cultural fantasyland apology.

pink pony apology

Sigh.  Next time,  just let your mane flow, little pony.

Is It Better to Just Wonder?

In newsrooms they say “if it bleeds, it leads.”  News reporters like to wring all the drama from your local crimes as they can.    But too often, news coverage leaves us with no answers to crime’s most serious question:  why criminals do what they do?  Imagine the surprise of the local 8 news crew in Knoxville, Tennessee when the stabbing suspect came right up to them and answered that very question.

Soooooo, Satan.  That’s what you’re going with.  Maybe it’s better just to wonder.

Got Swoobs? Forget Soap!

In an effort to keep increasing our vocabulary with useful words, Fresh Body gives you swoobs: “the dreaded boob sweat”.  Of course they have just the product to fix your disgusting swoobs. Fresh Breasts is yet another product you didn’t know you needed.

Image 2-23-14 at 7.16 AM

Lest you think this is all about the ladies, Fresh Body want men to waste money freshen up with their own product.

Image 2-23-14 at 7.23 AM (1)

Lotions and creams are a $7 billion dollar industry in the US alone.  Fresh body hopes to swoob swab up the competition. You buying?