The Grammys They Missed

Well, the 56th annual Grammy awards are all done but the hangover.  In case you couldn’t stay up to catch them all, you may have missed a few awkward moments, some aging rockers and a truly touching wedding a-la Moonies.  You also may have missed these award-worthy standouts.  Ladies and gentlemen, the first ever smntks celebration of the Grammys–the Sammy’s!

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle Award

This year’s Hand That rocks the Cradle award goes to Pharrell Williams.   He hit the stage so much you might have thought he was escorting the guests…but no, he is stirring the pot of pop music behind such hits as “Get Lucky” and  “Blurred Lines” as well as his own “Happy”.

Thong of The Year

Putting to rest the argument about Beyonce being the face of black feminism, Queen B tore open the Grammys with her Drunk in Love Duet with hubby Jay Z.  She may not have taken song of the year, but this shot shows she may in fact break all laws of physics…or she has some spanxs like you wouldn’t believe.

Most Awkward Unscripted Tribute

Steven Tyler belts out a few bars of Smokey Robinson’s   You Really Got a Hold On Me as Smokey looks on.  Maybe it’s that smooth skin you could bounce a quarter off, but Smokey looks less than impressed.

The Kanye Award

Sure she’s a winner…but not last night for album of the year.  Taylor Swift had to check herself to not jump up when Daft Punk scooped up for best Album.  She would have gotten extra points for actually storming the stage and telling Daft punk that she deserved it.

Best Natural (?)

Beyonce takes a second Sammy for going yaki-free and sporting what looks to be her own natural hair.  Now she had a pixie not too long ago as my buddy T pointed out, but until we know otherwise we thank the Queen for showing up with hair that looked real and elegant

Hat of the Night

The second place hat…womp womp

Hands down this award goes to Pharrell for his signature 2013 Vivian Westwood Hat.  Madonna tried to make a play for this award at the end of the night, but to no avail.  You can hate Pharrell’s hat–or make a funny meme out of it–but you cannot deny that it took a lot of confidence to rock that bad boy all year night.

Did we miss an award?  Hit the comments with your best Sammy.

Author: Susan X Jane

Susan X Jane is a diversity educator, speaker, and trainer and coach. A former professor and media literacy activist, she now consults with organizations looking to make sense of our current cultural shift. She thinks a lot about media and race…a lot...and writes and speaks about media…and race... and encourages everyone she meets to think about the way our identity shapes our experiences, ideas, and beliefs about the world. If you're reading this, she wants you to think about it too. Want to talk about it? Let's go. View all posts by Susan X Jane